The ways in which divorce affects our children are innumerable. Sometimes kids come out unscathed and other times children of divorce go through an incredible amount of emotional distress that can last for their whole lives. While they cope with the ordeal, they may not realize all you're doing to help them. Child support payments can go unnoticed by many kids who don't realize all that goes in a divorce. Coloradans may have seen the interview earlier this week when the "E.T. the Extra Terrestrial" director Steven Spielberg spoke up about how his parents' divorce influenced him in his adult life.
Spielberg's parents reportedly split up when he was 19 years old and it appears to have affected him just as if it were when he was a young child. He explains that after his parents got divorced, he blamed his father and withdrew from him emotionally. The divorce reportedly occurred because Spielberg's mother wanted to pursue a relationship with her then husband's friend and so filed for divorce. Later, after the reason for their dissolution came to light, Spielberg's father stated that he had been "protecting" his son's mother out of love and that is why he didn't say anything. Spielberg's experience is just one example of how children of divorce often don't know the whole story when it comes to all their parents go through and do for them after a divorce.
Often it is the non-custodial parent who loses touch with their children. Whether Spielberg lived primarily with his mother or father or moved between the two, his relationship with his father appears to have been strained in those earlier years. For parents going through a divorce, it's important to know that you are not just a paycheck for your kids. While it can sometimes feel like they don't appreciate you, being their parent and being there for them is the best thing that you can do in most situations. Offering up financial support is just one way you show them you're still there.
Colorado residents dealing with maintaining a relationship with their children after a divorce may know how hard this time can be. Working with an experienced attorney could help ease some of the tension between you and your ex and also help grant you more of a role in your children's lives.
Source: The Huffington Post, "Steven Spielberg on '60 Minutes': Director reveals how childhood traumas resulted in inspiration," Christopher Rosen, Oct. 22, 2012