It is a cliche to think that every divorce will see the splitting spouses sitting on opposite sides of a table in a room made for negotiation, with the two spouses pointing and yelling at each other in disagreement over some seemingly-trivial factor in their divorce. Sure, there are plenty of examples of divorces that went poorly and had the spouses angry and upset at each other. But there are also plenty of examples of the splitting spouses working together to achieve a common goal — an acceptable and amicable divorce that lets each party move on.
So how do you achieve one of these efficient and amicable divorces? It’s easier said than done, but there are some steps you can take to strive towards it. First and foremost, you need to put aside your anger or animosity towards your spouse and respect his or her opinions on certain matters. Achieving middle ground on issues in a divorce is unlikely to happen if the spouses are unwilling to at least work with each other.
Secondly, remember that not every issue or matter is going to end in your favor. If you realize this from the beginning, it can take a lot of the stress, anxiety and anguish out of the divorce process. “Losing” certain issues may not even be the worst thing. For example, you could be spared certain tax burdens if an asset goes to your husband or wife instead of you.
Last but certainly not least, remember that your final divorce arrangement is an agreement that you and you ex-spouse have to live with. Both of you have to deal with it — not just you. Abide by it, but also respect the fact that you and your ex are now entering a new phase of your relationship that may require communication and mutual understanding of each other’s issues.
Source: Huffington Post, “How to Have a Peaceful Divorce,” Laura Lifshitz, May 5, 2015