Narcissism is a personality disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self. They may have an incredible ego and feel the need to be admired and loved by others. Since this is the way the disorder works, it’s not surprising that a divorce can turn a normally narcissistic person into an aggressive or vengeful individual.
While not all people with this condition are difficult to work with during a divorce, you may be having trouble with your spouse if they’ve been diagnosed with this disorder. If so, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself and interests during your divorce with a narcissist.
What makes divorcing a narcissist harder than divorcing others?
A narcissist is more likely to want to “win” the divorce and may lack empathy. Those two traits combined means that they may fight harder to get what they want, even if negotiating or resolving conflicts in other ways would save money and time.
Sometimes, parents who have this disorder will put their kids in the middle, which makes it harder for the other parent to pursue specific actions during divorce. The target parent may feel that their children are being alienated or used against them, which is not fair. Document this if you believe it’s happening, because you may be able to ask a judge for a restraining order if your children are in danger or to ask for primary custody due to manipulation.
Another thing that makes divorcing a narcissist difficult is that they tend to enjoy, and create, drama. They may talk badly about you behind your back or threaten you to see how you’ll respond. You should expect to be blamed for the divorce and do your best to take your emotions out of it. Don’t worry about proving who is at fault, just focus on moving forward and resolving the matters at hand.
People with narcissistic traits are sometimes hard to handle, which may be why you’re ending your marriage. It’s possible to navigate your divorce by being patient, staying levelheaded and focusing on the outcome, which is that you’ll move on without your ex in the future.