The most difficult aspect of any divorce involving children is child custody decisions. Courts in Colorado and elsewhere uphold the best interests of the children as their highest priority in all custody decisions, with the presumption that continued close contact with both parents is what’s in a child’s best interests.
This is a rebuttable presumption, meaning one parent may provide evidence showing why equally shared parenting time isn’t in the child’s best interests. In the best-case scenario, parents agree to part amicably, remain a family, and devise a shared parenting schedule they both agree on.
However, that isn’t always possible not only because of rancorous feelings but sometimes the other parent has valid reasons for wanting more than half of the parenting time or full custody, especially if the other parent presents a physical or emotional danger to the children due to abuse, neglect, addiction, or an unhealthy new relationship.
Child custody is a momentous, life-altering decision. When you’re engaged in a custody battle, knowing what not to do is as important as knowing what you should do and how the process works.
1. Don’t Make Custody a Court Battle at All
Unless your spouse is abusive, neglectful, or endangers the children due to addiction or a dangerous relationship, it’s best to review the available parenting time schedules and find one that works for both of you. Choosing to settle the matter out of court is always the best option for your children and for you and your spouse as well. Deciding to communicate, compromise, and share custody amicably sets your family up for the best possible future—with both parents putting the children’s best interests first and remaining a family despite the divorce.
2. Don’t Involve Your Children In the Case
If a custody case is necessary, It’s essential to protect your children from feeling stress, fear, or burdened by the custody battle between their parents. Never put your children in the middle, talk badly about the other parent, or over-confide in a child about your relationship problems with their other parent. Never engage in heated arguments or verbal battles with your spouse in front of your children. Instead, make sure they feel safe and reassure them that they will remain safe, secure, and loved by both parents regardless of the outcome of the custody case.
3. Don’t Withhold Your Child From Your Spouse
Unless your spouse is a danger to the children’s physical or emotional well-being, don’t withhold your child from your spouse or keep them from spending time together. One of the central considerations for a judge in child custody decisions is each parent’s willingness to facilitate frequent close contact with the other parent. If a parent withholds a child or interferes with the other parent’s time with the children, the judge may rule in favor of the parent who is more willing to share the child’s time.
4. Don’t Bring a New Relationship Into Your Child’s Life
No matter how excited you may be about your new relationship, and even if you feel certain it’s going to last, resist the temptation to introduce anyone new to your children during the divorce process. Any third party injected into your children’s lives becomes a part of the custody decision. This means anything in their background that could impact a child’s well-being may be examined by the judge. More importantly, making this move too soon may make a child feel that you’ve replaced the other parent with someone new. If they feel resentful of you it could impact a judge’s decision.
5. Don’t Antagonize the Judge
Always be on your best behavior in the courtroom. Be respectful and refrain from shouting out or talking out of turn. Never hurl insults at your spouse or display a temper or other signs of instability the judge could hold against you. Instead, always display a calm, steady presence that shows the judge the kind of parent you are to your children. Be sure to follow any temporary orders carefully to show your willingness to abide by the judge’s decisions going forward.
Contact Ciancio Ciancio Brown, P.C. If You Need Help With Child Custody Matters
If you’re in a place where you need help with trying to figure out child custody matters in Colorado, get in touch with a Denver family law attorney from Ciancio Ciancio Brown, P.C. today. We can help you protect for the rights and fight for the best interests of your children.