A loving, committed relationship leads to a happy, fulfilled life, but getting a good night’s sleep is essential to physical health and emotional well-being. Unfortunately, sometimes these two crucial aspects of a healthy and contented life conflict. Although we typically consider sleeping together in the same bed a central aspect of married life, is this really an immutable fact, or can two spouses choose otherwise?
If you love your spouse but can’t get a good night’s sleep together, a sleep divorce might be the answer. If you are seeking legal support during your Denver, CO divorce, call us for a free case evaluation today.
What Makes Co-Sleeping With a Spouse Sometimes Difficult?
Sharing a bed is an act of intimacy that extends far beyond a sexual relationship. When spouses sleep together, it’s an act of trust and vulnerability. However, according to Psychology Today, spouses can have a satisfying sexual relationship even when they sleep apart, and some even find one partner joining the other in their room for sexual intimacy to be exciting. Spouses may choose to sleep apart for reasons such as the following:
- One spouse snores or has sleep apnea
- One spouse uses a noisy CPAP machine
- They have differing sleep schedules, or one works the night shift
- One spouse has restless leg syndrome or is a restless sleeper
- Each spouse prefers different room temperatures or bedding types
- One spouse has insomnia
- A breastfeeding mother prefers co-sleeping with their infant, and having the spouse in the same bed endangers the child
- One spouse likes to have the television on or music playing to sleep, and the other prefers silence
- One spouse has REM sleep behavior disorder, a condition in which a person may unintentionally hit, kick, or react violently to their sleep partner
No matter how loving the relationship, if spouses dread spending the night in the same bed, the frustration may escalate into irritation, potentially affecting other aspects of their relationship.
What Is a Sleep Divorce?
According to a sleep study survey, one-third of couples report disrupted sleep due to a spouse’s snoring, restlessness, loud breathing, or other sleep incompatibilities. The same study reveals that women are more negatively affected by sleeping with an incompatible partner, with as many as 20% reporting adverse impacts of co-sleeping with their spouse compared to 11% of men.
A sleep divorce is often the solution for married spouses with sleep incompatibilities. In a sleep divorce, both partners agree to sleep in separate beds or separate rooms, depending on the nature of the sleep conflict. While an official, legal divorce dissolves the marriage, a sleep divorce does not. Instead, it’s an agreed-upon solution to end only the bed-sharing aspect of the marriage.
What Are the Benefits of a Sleep Divorce?
The word “divorce” has a negative connotation, but for spouses struggling with sleep incompatibility, choosing separate rooms can be a very positive choice, leading to better sleep and a happier relationship. For spouses, the benefits of sleeping separately include the following:
- Fewer nighttime awakenings
- Better sleep quality with full sleep cycles
- Increased overall sleep time
- Improved overall relationship
In cases of REM sleep behavior disorder, choosing to sleep apart can be a matter of safety for one spouse and peace of mind for the other.
Sleep divorced spouses remain in a loving, committed relationship, sharing their lives in all ways except when they’re asleep. Reach out to our family law team for more legal help filing for a divorce.